This blog entry is about not caring.
Not caring about what I write, whether I write it correctly, or whether I get my point across.
My insecurities have held me back for so long, I don’t even remember who I am and who I want to be.
This is my attempt at silencing – or at least ignoring – the voices inside my head saying I’m not good enough. The voices that tell me to stop because no one will listen. The voices that say I will never amount to anything.
Because the truth is, I have been a mess. I am desperate to fill a void in my life but I realized just how out of touch I have been with myself and with reality that I do not know where to begin fixing things.
There are too many drafts and thoughts I have not published nor spoken out loud because I chose to be safe, complacent, nothing.
I have become nothing. I am alone, lonely and pathetic. And I want to stop caring about what people think, about what I think is ideal, I just want to be.
So, here goes my first entry in a while. No looking back, no editing… an emotion-filled entry I would probably regret and would make no sense to anyone.
But hopefully it will make sense to me.
“Even though I tend to believe time is just a construct of human perception and I struggle to understand why we treat new years as a magical fix-it for our lives, I still hope that this 2017 we’re resolved to treat ourselves better by filling our lives with good people, good values and good memories…” Continue reading “2017: A rough start”
It has been 2 months since I parted ways with someone whom I once considered vital to my existence.
If I had known I would miss him this much, I probably wouldn’t have wanted what I did. Continue reading “Of Difficult Decisions and Almost Regrets”
Most people don’t usually peg me as the traveling type as I am neither loud nor adventurous but alas – I have the travel bug. In hindsight I’ve caught it growing up because my father took us to various places around the Philippines, especially Mindanao.
I grew up reserved, sociable enough to be polite but very careful with whom I associated myself with and often preferred my own thoughts as company.
Faith, my friend from diapers, is the same way. We’ve traveled many times together in school trips, family outings, vacations sponsored by our godmothers (we share 2 godmothers) but never by ourselves.
So when I told my family about the impulsive decision I made with Faith, their first reactions were: Continue reading “DIY Singapore 4D3N”
I’m nearly turning 21 and still have no night routine, or morning routine or any kind of beauty routine, to be honest.
This fact does not make me feel superior over beauty-conscious women, nor do I feel inferior either…I guess it’s just how I’m wired. Continue reading “I have no idea what I’m doing”
This post is going to be a short one and not because of a lack of words but because of a lack of courage. I can’t bring myself to talk extensively about my body just yet. Continue reading “Freeletics”