Of Difficult Decisions and Almost Regrets

It has been 2 months since I parted ways with someone whom I once considered vital to my existence.

If I had known I would miss him this much, I probably wouldn’t have wanted what I did.

But the alternative to an inevitable, yet hopefully temporary, loneliness is to lose my identity. To be with him means to be unappreciated, taken for granted.

Never have I demanded more than what he was willing to give. This was not because I thought it was undeserved but because I needed him to want to treat me better – with respect, care, understanding.

But why then, if this person did not treat me right, do I miss him so much that I feel the pain of his absence in my whole body?

The notion of being alone never scared me, loneliness never scared me. But I craved his attention, validation… and the rarity of which he showed affection.

When I miss him, I re-read our conversations, look at old photos and paint a picture of his face in my mind.

And then I am reminded why – why I missed him but why I had to love myself more.

Trying to put everything into perspective, I almost regret the decision of saying goodbye. Just almost.

Till then,

Cuckooface

P.S. Please feel free to relate your story here.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s